Archive for german midget

Hamster Pubes

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on March 14, 2010 by thebloggingbastard

As usual, the title has absolutely nothing to do with the blog. But to the 5 of you that actually tried to envision hamster pubes, you’re sick. Leave now.

So I stripped the blog of all previous posts, because quite frankly they sucked. And not in that fun, kinky way we all know and love.  I was waiting on something profound to hit me…

* tiny German midget walks up, whacks Bastard in the knees with a breadstick * really. Even more profound than that. And then I glanced at the Yahoo headlines this morning, and lo and behold I found something.

Meet Jamie Paulin-Ramirez.

"Hey moron, why the long face?"

Evidently this ass clown got her draws (aka “drawers” aka “undies” sometimes referred to as “skivvies” or “underoos”…ok..maybe panties. But honestly, can you really think of this person wearing panties? Exactly. *shudder*) in a wad over something that happened that’s so ultimately and insanely stupid I’m not even going to address it. I’m not focusing on that aspect of the story. I’m actually having more fun with the fact that she’s a moron, got knocked up by an illegal meh-hee-kan, and was arrested in Ireland.

The best part of the entire story on Yahoo is a quote by her mother. Ready? Are you ready for it?

“I’d yell at her, ‘Get off the damn computer, do something with your son,” Mott said. ”

…and then I’d turn Oprah back on, grab a Bud Lite, check my lotto numbers for the day, avoid the dog shit that’s been on the carpet for the last few days, and call Earlene next door and tell her to get her damn goats out of my yard again.

OK. That last part was all me. But I laughed my ass off. Really.

The moral for today’s story is that sometimes stupid people do stupid things, and it’s funny. But it’s a helluva lot funnier if they themselves actually LOOK stupid. That makes it just fucking hysterical.

Peace my lovers.